When we are hurting, we tend to put so much pressure on ourselves to heal quickly. We just want the pain to go away, and we think if we could just fix it fast, we’d finally feel better.
But healing doesn’t work like that. It’s not a straight road with a clear finish line – it’s messy, unpredictable, and often feels like two steps forward and one step back. And let’s be honest, sometimes it feels like one step forward and two steps back.
Those moments can be frustrating, disheartening and even make us question if we are healing at all. But I want to remind you that even when progress feels slow, it is still progress. Every small movement forward matters more than you realize.
I used to play a game in elementary school called “Mother, May I?” (If you grew up before iPads, you probably did too.) In this game, one child was chosen to be “mother” and stood on one side, while the rest of us lined up opposite her, eager to inch our way forward.
The goal was to reach “mother” and be the first to tag her – but you couldn’t just run up to her. Instead, you had to ask for permission to take a step. It was a game of strategy, patience, and persistence, all while navigating the rules set by whoever played “mother” that round.
The game usually went something like this:
“Mother, may I take three gigantic steps?”
More often than not, “mother” would smile and say, “No, you may not.”
The next child, learning from the first, asked a different question.
“Mother, may I take two baby steps?”
To which “mother” would often reply, “Yes, you may.”
Even though baby steps felt painfully slow, if you kept moving forward – little by little – you’d eventually reach your goal. And once you tagged “mother,” you got to take her place and lead the next round. It was a simple childhood game, but now, as an adult, I can see so much wisdom in it.
Healing is a lot like that. We all want to take huge steps – get over it already, move on, wake up one day and be totally fine. We long for that quick-fix solution, the magic moment where everything suddenly feels okay. But real, lasting transformation happens in the baby steps.
Small, consistent steps in the right direction lead to the big breakthroughs we’re hoping for. And though it’s hard to see in the moment, those tiny movements forward are what ultimately carry us to where we need to be.
Healing Isn’t Linear – But That Doesn’t Mean You Aren’t Moving
There will be days when you feel like you’re making progress. Maybe you wake up feeling lighter, more hopeful, and for a moment, you think, “I’m finally getting better.”
But then there will be days when something triggers an old wound, and suddenly you feel like you’re back where you started. A memory resurfaces, a song plays on the radio, or someone says something that stirs up the emotions you thought you had already worked through.
But that’s not true. Just because it feels like you’re stuck doesn’t mean you actually are. Healing is more like a winding road than a straight highway – there are setbacks, pauses, and moments where you wonder if you’re making any progress at all.
It’s easy to get discouraged when you don’t see immediate results, but progress isn’t always obvious in the moment. Every time you choose to show up, to keep going, to take another step – even when it’s small – you are moving forward.
Healing doesn’t have to be dramatic to be real. Sometimes, it’s simply the decision to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Even when progress feels invisible, it is still happening beneath the surface. Emotional healing is much like physical healing – just because you can’t see the wound closing doesn’t mean the body isn’t repairing itself.
The work you’re doing now, even if it feels slow, is strengthening you for the future. One day, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come, even if it didn’t feel like progress in the moment. Every small step matters.
What Do Baby Steps Look Like in Healing?
They might seem small, but they add up. Baby steps in healing might look like:
Spend Time in Prayer
Spending time in prayer when your first instinct is to shut down. Maybe your words don’t come easily, and all you can do is sit in silence before God. That’s still a step.
Even a whispered prayer, a thought directed toward hope, is movement in the right direction. Over time, these quiet moments build strength and remind you that you are not alone in your healing journey.
Begin Therapy
Making the decision to begin therapy – even if you’re scared to make the call. Acknowledging that you need help and looking up resources is a step in itself.
Even if it takes time to pick up the phone, researching options and considering the idea is progress. Healing begins the moment you decide that your well-being is worth investing in, no matter how hesitant you feel.
Set Boundaries
Setting a small boundary with someone who has hurt you. It doesn’t have to be a grand confrontation – sometimes, it’s as simple as choosing not to engage in a conversation that drains you.
Learning to say “no” in small ways strengthens your ability to protect your peace. Each boundary you set, no matter how minor, reinforces your self-worth and helps create a healthier emotional space.
Journal Your Feelings
Choosing to journal your feelings instead of numbing them. Writing down your thoughts, even when they feel messy and unfiltered, is a powerful step toward processing your emotions. It gives you a safe place to release your pain without judgment.
Over time, journaling can help you recognize patterns, track progress, and see how far you’ve come in your healing journey.
Rest
Allowing yourself to rest without guilt. Learning to embrace rest, instead of feeling like you have to “earn” it, is an act of healing in itself. Rest isn’t laziness – it’s a necessary part of recovery.
When you give yourself permission to pause, you acknowledge that your worth isn’t tied to productivity, and that’s a huge step forward.
Don’t Isolate
Letting a trusted friend in when you’d rather isolate. Vulnerability is hard, but choosing to share even a little bit of your heart with someone safe can be a game-changer. It reminds you that you are not alone and that there are people who care.
Connection is a key part of healing, and even a simple conversation can help lighten the burden you’re carrying.
None of these things seem groundbreaking at the moment. They feel small, almost insignificant. But over time, they create real change. They lay the foundation for deeper healing, for stronger resilience, and for a heart that is learning to trust again.
Slow Progress Is Still Progress
If you’re in a season of healing, let me encourage you: you don’t have to take giant leaps to be getting somewhere. Even the slowest steps forward are still forward. Healing doesn’t come all at once, but it does come.
There will be days when you feel like you are standing still, or worse, moving backward. But if you take a step back and look at the bigger picture, you will see that every little step you’ve taken has been part of a greater journey toward wholeness.
Keep taking those baby steps. Keep moving in the right direction. One day, you’ll look back and realize you’re standing in a place you never thought you’d reach. And when you do, you’ll see that those little steps weren’t so little after all.
